


Keys to the Kingdom

by silver_wing (almightydino)



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:06:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almightydino/pseuds/silver_wing
Summary: Susan still wrote sometimes - now to herself more than to others, and those times she almost caught herself putting a name here and there as if she was addressing it to someone.





	Keys to the Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

> So, i was talking with a friend in twitter about Susan, how i thought that she still thought of Narnia sometimes... And this crawled its way into my brain.  
> English is not my first language and the story is not beta-ed.  
> [the title doesn't really realates to the story]

Had it been another time, she would be writing everything to her siblings now; telling them about all the tea parties and banquets she was invited to, and the gentlemen she was introduced to - Lucy would get more details about that, as her brothers couldn’t care less about what she thought about those men. She knew they cared about her, but after she grew up - after they all have - they seemed more reserved when talking to her.

Peter and Lucy sometimes felt more distant, and Edmund...

She didn’t like to remember the bad times or the fights they had from time to time, Susan liked to remember when they were younger and were tied to the hip, playing-pretend about an magical place called Narnia, where they all had been Kings and Queens and everyone in their court loved them and they loved them back with the same force. The battles they fought together sometimes would crawl back in the depths of her mind - and she swore to herself it was all a dream, since they played the whole day her mind would reproduce those thoughts as if they were real, wasn’t it right?

Susan still wrote sometimes - now to herself more than to others, and those times she almost caught herself putting a name here and there as if she was addressing it to someone.

The parties she went now were dulled by the feeling of emptiness she felt most of the time, the feeling that something or someone was calling to her, that her place wasn’t there with all those high society people that she told her siblings were much better than they were. She felt guilty about that, about her last words to them.

When Lucy asked her if she would like to go to Professor Kirke’s house she almost laughed (“Why would i go there? So you all start talking as if we were children again? Talking about a magic land that doesn’t exist?”). Now she wished she had gone with them. She missed them, even Eustace.

Cringing, Susan remembered their funerals, aunt Alberta crying and blaming her siblings of killing her boy. It was one of the first times Susan saw her care so ferociously about her son. Fighting back the tears, she remained silent, as Eustace’s father dragged his wife away telling her she wasn’t the only one who lost someone at the train wreck.

Sitting by her writing-desk, she looked at the clock one more time before she started to write in her journal. She wrote about the man her boss introduced to her, how he remembered her of someone else, but not quite right. Something in his eyes appealed to her, but when he talked the feeling was gone.

Then she wrote about the party one of her friends had thrown to her fiancé who enjoyed hunting with a bow, and how, as a joke, one of his friends asked her if she wanted to try. Something in her told her to grab the arch and bow - as her younger self would pretend to do when she played with her siblings - and shoot. While the man was explaining to her how to shoot, she put herself in the right posture and ignoring him, aimed at one of the most distant target, the only one everyone missed miserably, and shoot. A perfect shoot, right in the middle of the target. Putting the bow down, she frowned. “You must use the bow only in great need, for I do not mean you to fight in the battle. It does not easily miss.” The powerful yet soothing voice echoed in her mind and Susan chocked back a desperate cry. Returning the bow to its owner, she excused herself and fled.

Sighing, she closed her journal, trying not to cry again. She missed them. Missed telling them things about her day, missed their games when they were children. Missed Narnia.

Gasping, she realized that. She did miss Narnia, and something told her Narnia missed her too.

“Please... I know i betrayed your trust.” She started, softly, to no one in particular as she was alone in her room inside the cruise her boss and his wife treated her to. Susan raised from the chair she was on and looked at an image that was in every room of that cruise. “But i miss everyone. I really do. I want to go back.” And crying, she fell to her knees, put her hands together and prayed for the first time in years.

And out of nowhere she felt a gush of wind and hear a lion growl - as if it was at her side close to her ear. With her eyes closed she felt truly afraid for a second, and then the sun hit her face - warm and welcoming. She was afraid of opening her eyes, afraid of what she would see.

“Su?” The young voice of her sister reached her ears, and Susan felt like a child again.

 

 


End file.
